We all compare ourselves to others, whether its comparing hair, popularity or grades we have all done it. But have you ever wondered why?
Biology says we compare because its already hardwired into our brains. Way back when, comparing was a need for survival, to see who was the fastest, strongest, best at finding food. Comparing used to help determine status and safety which increased survival chances. Now, it’s pretty much useless in most cases. Another case if our brains reward system (dopamine). Dopamine is a reward chemical in your brain, when you get an A on something it feels good, sure, but getting an A when everyone else got a B feels better. Dopamine responds to relative success, not absolute success. This is why your brain keeps checking where you stand. Lastly your brains threat detection, the amygdala. The amygdala scans for danger, being lower status once meant less food and less protection, so your brain is comparing to prevent social exclusion, which used to be life-threatening.
Switching over to the more psychology side of things, starting with belonging needs. Humans are wired for connection, comparing helps us determine whether we fit in, are accepted and even normal. Our brains prefer belonging over happiness, this is why we are constantly comparing. Another one, especially seen in teens, is identity formation. During adolescence, the brain is literally asking, “who am I compared to others? What group do I fit into?” Comparing helps shape values, goals and self-concept helping our brain figure out exactly who we are now. This is most strongly seen in middle school and high school. Lastly is our cognitive shortcuts, otherwise known as “heuristics”. Comparing saves mental energy. So instead of deeply analyzing ourselves, our brains use ideas like “worse than me” and “better than me” to figure out where you stand. This isn’t reliable though because facts do not equal accuracy when you don’t know the full picture. The key takeaway here is that comparison is not a personality flaw, it’s a built-in system. Its your awareness that lets you decide whether you listen to it.
